Who do you know at church? Do you have friends at church? Are your best friends here at church? These may seem like silly questions, but they are quite serious. Today, more and more people are becoming isolated. As they do so, their social interactions decrease, and this impacts their health and emotional well-being. By nature, we are social animals and thrive best when we are connected to others. Spiritually, many people fall away from God and the church when they lose connection. Conversely, the bonds of friendship strengthen us in our spiritual lives. The church is not a country club, fraternity, or a social organization, but having close church friends strengthens our faith and helps us grow in our love of God.
Before I was a priest, and even when I was a young priest, I truly disliked whenever I was at Mass and the priest or person making the announcements would ask everyone to turn around and introduce themselves. By nature, I am an introvert, and that was (and is) uncomfortable for me. However, I learned the importance of people connecting with people. For a certain percentage of people, these gestures don’t produce much. But for others, it can be life changing! The simple act of introducing yourself and getting to know a person’s name and them getting to know yours can change your whole life.
One of my greatest spiritual mentors, guides, and friends was someone I met at church. Mass had ended and I was leaving church, heading home, when a woman stopped me and introduced herself. It was a quick and simple exchange. The next week, she said hello again and we talked a little more. I was a high school teacher at the time, and I learned that she was a widow and the mother of 16 children! Before too long, we were having coffee after Mass and then she invited me to her home for dinner. Being around all those people nearly sent me into shock. But in time, I somehow just became part of their family, and they became part of my life. Over the years, this wonderful woman inspired me by her love for God and encouraged me in my love for God. Her children became my friends, and I got to see her grandchildren and great-grand children grow up. She died a few years ago, but I still keep up with her family and they keep up with me. My faith is stronger and my life richer because she introduced herself to me at Mass.
Too many people come to church without knowing anyone. They come, say their prayers and leave. God, of course knows who they are, but in many ways they are anonymous. That is not the plan that God has for His Church. When Jesus came to earth to save us and reconcile us to God, the Father, He did so by first forming a community. His disciples were not a bunch of anonymous and autonomous spectators. He went to their houses for dinner, they got to know each other, and their bond to Him bound them to each other. They became friends with one another and Jesus was their common friend. When St. Paul went on his mission journeys, he connected with people in the synagogues, in the marketplace (agora), and even in prison. Read the accounts of all the friends he made. Paul made friends and his friends became co-workers in the mission of spreading the Gospel. Paul was constantly introducing people to one another. The earliest churches were “house churches” and the Eucharist was “a family meal”. Connection, connection, connection. The idea of an anonymous or purely private Christianity was and is inconceivable.
At the Last Supper, Jesus revealed Himself in the Eucharist, but He also revealed the apostles to themselves and to each other. “I call you friends” Jn 15.15. Who do you know at church? Do you have friends at church? Are your best friends here at church?