Dear Friends in Christ:
Over the summer I was reading about the dramatic decline in the birth and marriage rates in the U.S. From economic, social, and political perspectives, this is quite alarming. This has negative immediate and long-term implications and consequences. Think about Social Security, taxes, health care, education, labor markets, wages, housing, economic growth, illegal immigration, etc. These are all impacted by marriage and birth rates. On the global front, the U.N. is already sounding the alarm on the political, social, and economic instability due to the declining and shifting populations. Researchers are now connecting the dots and seeing how these declines are connected to the decline in religious participation. As fewer people practice faith, they also are less likely to marry and have children. People who do not marry and have children are significantly less likely to practice faith. It is abundantly clear that over the last several decades governmental policies and societal attitudes have become increasingly hostile towards religious practice and values. A similar animus and negativity towards marriage, family, and children is also evident. It must be admitted that religious people have not always responded to this growing hostility in appropriate and productive ways. Some of these emotional reactions have contributed to making matters worse for both religion and society. In other words, we have had more heat than light.
The decline in the number of men becoming Catholic priests in the U.S. and Europe is well known. Since 1969, the number of priestly ordinations in the U.S. has declined by 38%. What fewer people realize is that during the same period, Catholic marriages have declined by an astonishing 70%!!! It is particularly alarming to see that the decline in Catholic marriages mirrors the decline of that in the general population. Instead of Catholics influencing and being leaven in the world, it seems to be the other way around. This decline in Catholic marriages is also seen in a decline in the number of children being born, baptized, raised, and educated in Catholic families and the Catholic faith. Fewer children being born means fewer future Catholic marriages and families. We are already seeing this. N.B., Catholics have the largest numerical declines because Catholics are the largest religious body in the U.S. However, Protestant denominations are suffering greater percentage declines. But the story is not really about the numbers. The real story is about people’s lives.
As marriage rates decline and families shrink in size, there is a documented corresponding decrease in personal happiness, emotional stability, and fulfillment, in individual people. At the same time, there is an explosion in the number of people experiencing depression, addiction, and loneliness. Once again, the truth of God is borne out, ‘It is not good for man to be alone.’ Human beings are by their very nature relational. The fewer close and good relationships one has, the harder life is and the more difficult it is to attain happiness and fulfillment. God created us for relationships in general and for family in particular. It is not by accident that God instructed Adam and Eve to ‘go forth and multiply’ and that Jesus went around forming a community of disciples and commanded his disciples to do the same. Happiness, fulfillment, and meaning are discovered, created, and nourished, in relationships; our relationship with God, and in the relationships of marriage and family. From the foundational relationships of God, marriage, and family, our happiness can grow through friends, neighbors, and coworkers, but they are not interchangeable. When asked about what she saw in America St. Teresa of Calcutta said, “Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody. I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.” The good news is that God desires our true happiness and has not and will not give up on us. The question is, will we listen?
In Pace Christi,
Fr. Troy